What The Six Things Laying On Your Desk Say About You

And how to translate them into daily mantras, empowerment, and paths to being a better person

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I’m usually the type of writer who has to completely clear off my desk, turn on some background music, and commit to a full sit down session of tackling whatever task is at hand. Today, I decided to take a look at what the first six items that I needed to clear were, and identify what roles they play in my life, and possibly come up with a real-life explanation with intricate details that would undoubtedly answer questions about why everything is the way it is in my life. Sounds simple enough, right? Let’s check it out, from left to right.

1. A tiara. Do I really have to explain why there is a symbol of royalty casually displayed across my desk? A funny back story, my entire childhood I was fully convinced, “When I grow up, I will be a princess.” Not I want to be a princess, I will be a princess. For the first five years of my life, I transitioned every Halloween from, “A princess,” to, “A fairy princess,” to, “A queen,” and so forth. So naturally, fast-forwarding to 2020, mid-pandemic, it’s pretty relevant that there would be a casual tiara resting in my workspace. For clarification, I threw it on this past Halloween to participate in a few covid-safe activities. I ended up looking like the evil queen from Snow White. Translation: The tiara is present to provide a reminder to keep heads held high, and crowns straight.
2. Balea Fuss Maske. I’m not sure of the science behind it, but this pandemic has somehow dried out my feet. I dug through my boxes of lotions and potions from my German supermarket hauls, and I found a cure. Well, it smells horrendous, it reminds me of seaweed or a dried algae smell, so I can’t get myself to continually apply it. You have to choose your battles as an adult, dry feet, or kelp feet? Translation: Feet should not smell like plants from the sea, but we should continue to have German foot products in our stockpiles.
3. Empty coffee mug. Forever my daily crisis, running out of coffee but not wanting to make another pot. I also have been choosing to stay awake and watch Netflix movies until 5 am for the past two nights. I’m not sure where I’m headed with this new endeavor, but it’s costing me a lot of coffee fueling. Also, this is my daily mug that has a centaur, representing my astrological Sagittarius sign. It also says, “generous and sassy.” It seems necessary to complete my mornings. Translation: Relying on coffee for functionality is acceptable as long as your mug is providing words of affirmations or reminders about who you can transform into post-coffee consumption.
4. AirPods. I’m a complete music head. My dream side hustle is to be a DJ. I love the challenge of figuring out what the song is that will make somebody dance, what is your irresistible jam? I can find it. I listen to a broad range, but really enjoy discovering new music by chance. To do that, you have to be committed to browsing musical libraries and selecting anything. It’s tedious, but that’s why my AirPods are always close by. Translation: You enjoy blocking people out and can hold an internal dance party while simultaneously being productive. You’re a badass.
5. Labello. Labello is a German lip balm brand that saves lips daily. It is the best thing ever created. It applies so smoothly and makes your lips buttery soft. It smells so scrumptious and delicious, every German child has eaten one at some point in their life. Myself included. Don’t laugh, it tastes as good as it smells. Translation: No one enjoys dry lips, invest in good-tasting lip balms.
6. Michael Kors watch. I love this watch. I never read the time on it, but I feel naked without it. An ex-boyfriend gave it to me a few years ago, and it’s become part of my identity since. I actually go by MK as a nickname, and I frequently reference my watch at work when people look at me with confusion about my simplified nickname. A lot of guys connect, “MK,” with Mortal Kombat. The right people know I’m a classy princess (see article 1 above), obviously it’s Michael Kors. Translation: I’m classy. And I wear unnecessary jewelry.